Mental Access to MTKuszek

Mental Access to MTKuszek
A Window of Opportunity

Monday, February 28, 2011

02/28/2011 Imagination Station

the 282nd day...

So yesterday i was able to visit the imagination station with my family, and this was the first time i've been in the old Portside/Cosi/whatever else facility in years. i have to say i am thoroughly impressed with the place, but it is one of those places that once you see everything, there is little reason to return and do it all over again.

anyway, i love hands on projects and interaction to make things like math and science fun. it was a great time and i wish i brought my camera for some cool pictures.

oh well, we'll probably make it back down there at some point.


Friday, February 25, 2011

02/25/2011 Things went well.

the 279th day...

so i received an email back, saying sure, go ahead and do your stuff. they pointed out their guidelines and await a proposal and possible treatment from me. the only drawback is that i won't have anything out until next year, and really, that's not an issue.

i feel real good about this. now, i just have to make sure i don't f--- this up.

again, things go well for me this year.


Thursday, February 24, 2011

02/24/2011 The Letter has been Sent


well, i just sent the letter/email. my throat is exposed, my head on the chopping block, let's see what the next few days hold for me.


02/24/2011 I'm Nervous

the 278th day...

so, today i'm going to write a a few acquaintances of mine a letter to see if my various skills are needed. these are the same individuals who allowed me to work on American Artifacts 2 with them, which still makes me smile.

i have this sense of impending dread here that is swelling in my heart and head.

on one hand, this would be a great resume builder and will legitimize my writing skills in the workplace. on the other hand, this could absolutely be a deal breaker for me and be another one of those "so close but so far away" deals.

so what do i do? i know if i don't ask the question, i'll never get answer, so the question has to be asked.

that door is in front of me, i just have to reach out and jiggle the doorknob, see if it's open or locked.

F--- mark, come on, man up, do this.

every fiber in my body is vibrating. i think it's time to compose that letter.


Wednesday, February 23, 2011

02/23/2011 The Ten Things Challenge

the 277th day

so one of my friends put this great challenge up on his social network page, and basically you have to take a pic of yourself, and then list ten things about you that people may or may not know about you. i liked his formula, and so i'm going to replicate it here.

1) i really don't strive for fame. i'd just like to be remembered for doing something great.

2) I never finished college. that world didn't seem right for me.

3) I consider myself to be in a constant state of evolution. every day, every year, i strive to become a better person.

4) I regularly go to gaming conventions to run events, and this year i am going to Gencon Indy, something i've wanted to do since i started gaming.

5) My life has had some ups and downs. this year i'm trying for a huge upswing. :)

6) i'd rather have a few wonderful friends as opposed to multitudes that are less than par for the course. no need for the fair-weather friends.

7) i've met some amazing people the last 4 years of my life, and i'd like to continue that trend.

8) i received my first real taste of legitimate writing early this year, and i crave more of the same.

9) My Wife and Children and the focal point of my life; i'd do anything for them. without them i would not be the person i am today. Extended family and friends fall into this category as well

10) a lot of people like having me around, and yet i fail to grasp why. i can be a pain in the ass a lot of times.



Monday, February 21, 2011

2/21/2011 What I Bring to the Table.

the 276th day...

so i have heard this phrase a lot lately about me, and "how i bring a lot of things to the table." not actual physical things, mind you, but the intangibles and unknowns. So, i'm asking myself what i might actually have in my personality that is a benefit to other people, and what tends to keep me around in the circles of friends that i have.

here is what i think i bring to the table:

-Kindness: i'm a good soul, and very little allows me to act otherwise. this is probably my most defining feature.

-Genuine: i don't play games with people's emotions or hide my own personal agendas. with me, what you see is what you get. life is too short to make other people's lives difficult. deal with yourself.

-Flexibility: i adapt, flex, improvise. i float like vapor on the wind. there is not much that can get in my way if i really put my mind to it. i exploit this ability to the fullest.

-a different way of thinking: i see things in an odd and unconventional way, and often don't see the easiest of ways initially. maybe good and maybe bad, i really don't know.

-Slow to anger: it takes a lot to get me worked up, and i can still stay cool headed in a stressful situation. often, i've had numerous co-workers say they wish they had this ability for themselves. sorry, not for sale.

another self-evaluation from yours truly,

Sunday, February 20, 2011

02/20/2011 some things never change

the 275th day...

so, my first convention is in the books for this year, and as i have come to expect with this local convention, it was significantly lacking organization. there was a significant snafu with the tables that i needed for one of my miniatures games that i usually run at the conventions, and it was the equivalent of fitting a square peg into the round hole. so, i had to resort to taking matters into my own hands to rectify the problems, and i had to become a bit of an @$$ to get things done. some things i just don't like to do, but i had no other choice.

i find myself really debating at this moment whether or not i wish to return next year, which is tragic because this is my hometown convention.

the only thing that really made this a worthwhile experience for me is the fact that i have fantastic friends that i was able to hang with a good portion of the weekend and enjoy some time with them. thanks to them, i didn't have to get serious.

Peace y'all


Thursday, February 17, 2011

2/17/2011 Face To Face With Demons Past

the 272nd day...

this weekend is our first convention of the year, like i have stated before, but i also dread it a little bit as this is the weekend that i have to come face to face with a dark time in my past and the demons that inhabit that time.

i'm sure that i will come face to face with some old friends that i can't really be around with anymore because the past is painful. i still need to come to terms with the things that occurred back then, and it is easier to remove myself from the situation than to face it head on. frankly i don't think i have that strength yet.

but i still intend to go to this convention, to have a good time with those that support me and call me "friend" or "buddy". those are the ones that i will draw my strength from, and push through the inner turmoil.

for now, i must try to relax and prepare myself.


Wednesday, February 16, 2011

2/16/2011 The Mind Moves a Mile a Minute.


i have/had been working diligently on a project for our upcoming convention this weekend, and i have finished everything i need to do. now i could go ahead and do some other things, like write up some more scenarios, tweak the ones that i have already written, make some more buildings for our Clash of the Kaiju event, but instead i really just feel the need to type some more today. who knew?

maybe i'll start doing some things for my Qags-in-a-Bag event this weekend, and get mentally limber with a few brain teasers.

see you soon, and feel great today,


02/16/2011 D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.?

the 271st day...

a simple thought for today.

It's easy not to care, to throw in the towel and say "F- This". it takes drive, motivation, and a true desire for excellence to really care about something, such as quality of work, state of social and economic affairs, or sticking to your guns when the chips are down. Simply put, it's a lot harder to give "a flying F-"

I give an F-, do you?


Monday, February 14, 2011

2/14/2011 Valentines amd Bashcon

the 269th day...

valentine's is here. grab the person you love and tell them how much they mean to you today!

in other news, my group's first convention of the year kicks off this weekend. Bashcon in my hometown runs at the University of Toledo all weekend, and there are a lot of cools things going on there. this is out test run for a lot of things and i can't wait. YEAH!!!


Monday, February 7, 2011

2/7/2011 Super Bowl

the 262nd day...

the remains of what used to be my kitchen are slowly being put back into place after a ton of food was thrown out/ eaten/ removed as i try to get this place back into shape.

again, the super bowl didn't disappoint as we crown another champion. unfortunately, the most memorable moment for me was the Christina Aguilera/ Star Spangled Banner flub-murder. we should probably rethink singing it like a diva if we can't remember the lyrics.

food was great, and despite watching the game with my girls and my wife, we all had a great time. congrats to the Packers and the Steelers for a great season.

now, i really wish there won't be a lockout for next year, or i'm going to be really really bored on sundays this fall.


Saturday, February 5, 2011

2/5/2011 Another Saturday

So here i am, typing away on this blog as i mentally try to prepare myself for another day of work on a saturday. man, have i learned to loathe these days. to top it all off, i have so much stuff to do after work, that i will have little time for anything else tonight. i have my daughter's birthday party tomorrow, so i have to have a menu ready before then, and get the items i need for both this party and for the super bowl.

well, at least i'll have some help from my wife today. how is it that saturday has become my busiest day out of the week?


Thursday, February 3, 2011

2/3/2011 Plenty of Fallout

the 258th day...

so the big save that i (partially) lost was for one of my most favorite game i've played ever. i say partially only because i have a few backups from this game already on another back-up drive.

Fallout 3 is a really really bad ass rpg in which i can lose myself for hour. the surreal feel of the capital wasteland and the hints of danger around every corner entices me to play as much as i can. now, i was level 21, and beginning to play some of the areas i had never found before, bot now, i will be starting from scratch again real soon.

why? why am i not angry from this?

simply put, i have completed most of the achievements for being good and neutral, but to play an evil character is something that i haven't done yet. so having said that, the next time i fire up my Fallout 3 game, i'm going to be a total a$$hole and doing all the terrible things possible to unlock trophies and achievements. all in the name of fun and giggles.

i'm a terrible gamer,


Wednesday, February 2, 2011

2/2/2011 Home Sweet Home

She's on her PS3...home sweet home...

Ok, I'm sure that's not what motley crue was singin' about, but anyway.

so yesterday, my PS3 returned home, or rather a new system of the same model i had sen them, and find that the saves are gone. but it's not a total loss. it get's the monkey off my back about keeping that 60GB HDD that's in the system right now. and yes, even though i was super deep into some of the games, it ultimately isn't a big loss. so i'll be upgrading this hdd once the snow clears and i can get out of the foot of snow out in the world now. but, i still have much work to do. i'll be plugging away on my laptop, working hard on some things.

stay warm and see you soon.