05/12/10 About Me…

This is my first blog ever, and as such I have to lay the groundwork and rules of my blog today. I figured I would start at the beginning with some basic information about me and how I’ve come to this point in my life.
I’ve lived in Toledo area for all my life, and had a solid family upbringing. My parents have been a wonderful source of love and support all these years, and my extended family has been an amazing blessing.
I have been happily married for almost 12 years now, and have brought two wonderful daughters into the world with my wife. There is no strife in my marriage, and I hope to continue this trend for many years to come. I have matured in ways that I didn’t think possible, and have understood the true meaning of happiness and stayed away from drama and dysfunction.
My past was riddled with hardships and turmoil in school and social situations that have often hindered me from forming true friendships. Often I find it hard to converse with people I barely know, and retreat into the shell that I formed years ago. I am an only child, and have remained so, and that forced me to become an introvert. I think and sound profoundly intelligent when its on paper, but when actually speaking I struggle to keep a conversation going. In grade school, I would talk to other people in the first few years of my education, but once I started to get bad grades solely based on my loquacious nature, I sent myself into a reclusive tailspin, hiding my true personality inside of me, just for the sake of good grades.
Years have passed, and I have taken great strides to break the shell that I have inhabited for so many years. But the shell is complex in its design. It is lined with layers of protocols, thoughts unspoken, and things I was taught no to speak in public, for the sake of others. For years, it has been my refuge, the place I go to when things are bad or frustrating…

But I seek this refuge…this self incarceration…no longer…

I want to meet me the real me…

In order to do so, I have to share with you my feelings. My thoughts. The very mental processes that drive every instance of my life. I must get into the very components that make up the complication that is M.T. Kuszek. I need to un-break the broken man and find out what I truly believe and desire in life. I hope this living journal is the beginning of something great for me, and that I can truly change my outlook on myself and others and become my true self without worrying about other people and their ideals.

Thank you for being here for the first step,

MK