Mental Access to MTKuszek

Mental Access to MTKuszek
A Window of Opportunity

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

09/15/10 Frustrated and Angered Beyond Reason

the 126th day...

i'm done!

the past few days have been just a joke, specifically at my job, and now it finally crossed over into my personal life! i am seething with rage, and i seriously can't take it anymore. so now i'm getting hit with $hit on both sides and frankly i no longer care.

today my daughter, the oldest one missed the bus on account of her locker being stuck. now i understand this, but since i only have one vehicle at the moment, i had to call my dad. he became upset at the fact that he had to come get us to get the kid, and proceeded to berate me on the way to picking up my daughter. he reminded me of the bad mistakes i've made in my life and that i still need to mature.

so, after that bull$hit, i'm really happy that i'm the only male left in the kuszek family who could pass on the family name, cause frankly i'm real sure we have no right to exist on this planet as a bloodline anymore. we're too ill tempered, and we haven't learned from our mistakes.

i know my mom is ill, and has been so for a while now. i know my parents have done some great things for me in the past, and i have been thankful. i doubt i'll be asking for any favors from them, even as simple as a ride to a nearby school, for a long time.

am i really this damaged? have i lived under the pretense that we were never dysfunctional but really were? christ, why do i feel like an eight year old again?



  1. matter how old we are, we're always going to be the children of our parents and at times will be treated as very young children. Its inescapable. Sometimes, in circumstances like this, its best to let it in one ear, and out the other...seriously.

    For the record, every family is dysfunctional...even yours. You cannot look through the history of our world and show me any example of a family that is perfect or normal. It has never existed. Although its nice to think it does.

    Lastly...sounds like things are tough for you right now. I get that. Try something for me. Its hard at first because it seems impossible to do. But here it goes...for every bad thing that happens, choose or think of 3 good things that come from it - sounds impossible I know..but if you look hard enough you'll see them.
    So today you had to find a ride to take you to pick up your daughter...the first thing that comes to mind is you got a break from doing whatever it was you were doing when you got the call to pick her up. Next would be you got to spend extra private time with your adorable daughter...third would be you got to get out and enjoy the beautiful weather we had today. Sure my 3 good things may be lame, but I'm only going with what I just read.
    My parting words does get better. Trust me on this. Hugs!

  2. sorry it took forever to get back, luckily the remainder of the week took an upturn for me. i was able to have a good day at work on both thursday and saturday and things have made me smile again. monday brings a fresh slate for me and i intend to do the best i can with it. thanks for the kind comments.